Jenny From The Blog

Saturday Should Be Fun, Damnit!

Please send good wishes to Ragged (she's linked in the sidebar), as her Grandma passed away yesterday. She was 95 and had good heath until she was 89. We can all hope for as much.

My homework is interesting to me...in theory. In actual practice, however, it seems to be putting me to sleep. Or my mind wanders and I have to read the same paragraph over and over again. Or I sit down to write something and I can't think of anything to say, and when I do it sounds like an overzealous teenager wrote it. Or I read a little and don't totally understand what I've read and just don't feel smart enough to pull this off.

I just realized that both of my classes this semester have presentations. I thought only one did so when I read in the syllabus for the other class that I'd have to present there, my stomach went into knots. I shouldn't be so anxious about public speaking. I've taught classes, presented at conferences. I've done this before. Why am I already starting to worry about it? Maybe its because my audience is the Children. We all know I think they're wonderful, but I just feel like I'm going to get up there and they'll quietly be thinking "Jesus, she's ten years older than us. Why isn't she any better than this? Is she crazy? I think she might be crazy. This is just sad."

But maybe this is why I went into a face-to-face program. I often think about how much more convenient an online class would be. I could read, write, and do it all in my jammies. Oh, and I wouldn't be spending God knows how much on gas each week. My car wouldn't already be out of warranty because I've put so many miles on it. But I think the only challenge I'd have in that environment would be to actually get the work done. The program I'm in now is a challenge in many ways. Its forcing me to do things I would normally avoid and I think that's good for me. Its good for everyone, really. A total pain in the ass of course but it keeps a person's brain working.

I was sick the day after my last post. I ate something at a local fast food place Thursday and Friday morning I woke up in time to stick my head in the trash can. Ugh. The good part is that I lost a few pounds. I'll take my happy moments where I can get them.

Yesterday morning I was in my car on the way to work, flipping stations on XM and not paying enough attention to the road (I've got to stop doing that, btw) when suddenly I came across a R&B-ish tune by David Banner and some other random people. The title of the song? F***ing. I'm not kidding. Just...F***ing. I almost had to stop the damn car. I kept mumbling to myself "Are you f***ing kidding me?!" Hell, every other song on the radio is about it in some way shape or form, but talk about just throwing all pretense of subtlety aside. And the lyrics were just as cringe inducing as you could imagine. It was horrifying. I can't wait to hear it again.

I'm off to read about multicultural issues in higher education. I'm sure I'll be back to whine about it later. Bless any of you who actually make it through my little written pity parties.

posted by Jennifer @ 10:51 AM